4-4: Triptych

In which our third Guide continues the lessons of The City Unending with an interest in the infinite and share stories about a door past the Borough Loquacious, a few of the Pilgrims scattered around The City Unending, and one Pilgrim having a conversation in a park. 

This episode was written by Alexander Wolfe (writingwolfe.com) and performed by Alexander Wolfe along with Grace Brunick-Clark. 

The City Unending is a collabrative project lead by Monte D. Monteleagre and produced by Wolf Mountain Workshop (@wolfmountainworkshop). 

Go West, Pilgrim. 

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Transcript

Deep within The City Unending, quite a good distance past the calamitous speeches of the Borough Loquacious and not-so-far-removed from the District of Analysis that has given up all hope of understanding it - there stands a small door, painted entirely black, with large golden hinges. There is no frame supporting it, there is no building or wall into which it is set, it is simply a door, unobtrusive, standing slightly off-center in an empty lot that used to mean something to somebody.

Most people that notice the door - fewer and fewer of them every day - pay it no mind. Those that spare a thought might wonder if it’s a roaming installation from the artists of the District of Abstract Expression, or maybe a demolition attempt contracted cheaply from the Borough Inadequate. Some might even try the knob, shining with the same bright gold as the hinges, and those that do will find it completely impossible to turn.

Should you be traversing The City Unending, having just put yourself a good distance past the hubbub of the Borough Loquacious and skirted the squints and stares cross hatching the District of Analysis, you may come upon a small door, painted entirely black, with large and golden hinges holding it securely to nothing, and a matching golden doorknob, shining pleasantly.

If, and only if, you notice the door, you may find yourself drawn to it. You will tell yourself that you just want to see if the wood is painted or if it’s just that dark naturally. This will be a lie. You will tell yourself that you want to see if the hinges and the knob are actual gold or just manufactured to look that way. This will also be a lie. However, very shortly you will stop lying to yourself, because you will be standing in front of the door, and your mind will have gone blank.

A hand, maybe even your own, will reach out for that golden knob, and unlike the countless previous times this has happened, the knob will turn slowly and smoothly in your grip, and you will be able to pull the door open. You will glance around, almost guilty, as if breaking some grand taboo, but the streets will be silent, and you will be fully alone.

As you peer through the opening, formerly obscured by dark wood and bright metal, your eyes will narrow, and an expression will come across your face. If a poll were taken in the District of Accountability, 52% of people would consider it an embarrassed grimace, 39% of people would consider it a small, sad, knowing, smile, and 19% of people would refuse to answer on the basis that they do not know you well enough to understand a flash of expression.

This, of course, adds up to 110%, but the District of Accountability generally detests being short a few percentage points compared to having a slight overage, and thus they treat the extra 10% as something similar to the number 13 in a baker’s dozen. (As an unimportant aside, the District of Precision Baking absolutely refuses to do any business with the District of Accountability, but for entirely different reasons that would take at least 3 historians and 2.5 bottles of scotch to understand.)

Unaware of any of this, you will stand in front of the door, and it will only take a few short moments before you make the most unintentionally important decision of your life.

 Should you choose to traverse the City Unending and you find yourself driven from the babble of the Borough Loquacious and bored to tears by the District of Analysis, you might come across a small door, entirely black, with golden hinges and a gleaming golden knob. It stands alone, and is forever locked.

Until, of course, it isn’t.

An interlude.

In April of Jackson’s thirtieth year, he stopped traveling directly west, as he had been for the past 9 months, having incidentally veered onto a diagonal instead of horizontal street. By the time he had the wisdom to correct his mistake, he had neither the energy nor the inclination.

The fact that the Borough Luminous is located directly adjacent to the Borough Stygian is noted as one of the great failures of modern city planning, although the decision is still hailed as wonderful by the residents of the Borough Dualistic.

Twyla had a single dog when she came to The City Unending. She now has a small ferret that prefers her left arm over her right. The City changes people.

Maynard, in their own special way, decided to kill themselves by throwing themselves off of the highest tower in the entire City Unending. They just celebrated their 912th birthday.

The current record for fastest journey West through the City Unending belongs to Oxana Milana who was able to accomplish it in just under a week, using the strategy of jogging West and resting when tired. The current record for the slowest journey West through the City Unending is currently being decided, and the contest grows more intense by the day.

Theresa Ecclesverb dropped their keys near the District of Lesser Pidgeon Rehabilitation, didn’t realize it until they were deep into the District of Canning Supplies, and upon noticing the loss, wove such a path of romantic destruction while retracing their steps that they are now worshiped as an eldritch being.

The pressure of planting a fruit tree with every step through the City Unending quickly drove Umari to begin planting radishes instead.

Three separate physicists have all had the separate idea that the gravity in The City Unending is slightly altered. When three separate experiments proved their theories correct, they each came to their own original conclusion that maybe, just maybe, they actually didn’t care all that much.

There is a very real and ongoing problem with random fires in the District of Non-Random Fires. It sounds humorous, but they’re really quite upset about it.

Leena Chastain makes some of the very best bread in the entire City Unending, and feeds it to the ducks that frequent a pond near her house. She would rank herself much lower, as she is consistently dissatisfied with her aunt’s hand-me-down bread maker. Should she choose to journey West, the ducks will be very sad, but ultimately recover.

An interlude.

The following piece is recorded in a public place with a lot of people in the background - we fade into the middle of an interview. 

THE SUBJECT: ………….. think I’d do it again. I don’t. I think…uh…I think there’s probably better things to do, right? Or at least, I dunno, maybe different? Like, fuck man, like I was in this place, the District of Oral Copulation, right? I was there for like, 3 years. If I could do it again… I probably wouldn’t stay forever but I’d stay a hell of a lot longer. Laughter. Nah, I’m just kiddin’, but like, no. You try to have a good attitude though, right? I mean that’s…that’s… that’s what you gotta do. 

THE INTERVIEWER: Do you remember anything about where you came from? 

THE SUBJECT: No, absolutely not, I don’t think that’s real. Everybody forgets. Every single fuckin’ person forgets. We all do, after a bit. And you have your friends and you have your new little families that you make and, I dunno, maybe a few people even manage to stay with the people they made it in with but if it even happens that’s rare, man, that’s rare. So you forget why you came, and you lose track of anybody else that might’ve known, that’s just kinda what happens, and then you’re fucked. You know what, by the way, fuck those fuckin’ people that are all talkin’ that shit about “oh you’ve just gotta have the self-discipline, that’s what’ll see you through the Enternity We Live Within”, and I’m just like, yeah, but here you are. It’s not like you made it. What the fuck do you know? Go be a Buddhist and meditate or go buy a car lot and sit at it, just like…leave me the fuck alone, ya know? 

THE INTERVIEWER: Earlier you were saying you thought somebody was coming to kill you. 

THE SUBJECT: Yes, yes ma’am, I have that on very good information, very good information on that. THE 

INTERVIEWER: Why would somebody want to hurt you? 

THE SUBJECT: You know, that’s what happens, that’s what happens to people, it’s like Jesus, like, I’m not like Jesus, but like, people don’t like people that know things so they, they they they, they do things to them, in order to bring them down. Have you heard of lobsters, you’ve heard of lobsters, right?
 
THE INTERVIEWER: You think people want to hurt you for what you know? 

THE SUBJECT: I know they do. I absolutely know it. 

THE INTERVIEWER: But how do you know it? Has anything happened to you? 

THE SUBJECT: It’s just people, man, it’s just people, like how long have people been coming here, right? - because shit man, they’re everywhere. Even in the empty bits it’s not more than a week or two until you come across another little comrade-o that’ll try to fight you or friend you or frighten you with their devilish wit…and then you have places like this… Clogged arteries…man…clogged arteries. And the plaque talks. That’s funny. You think I’m crazy? Like, I’m askin’. You think I might’ve tipped over a bit? I don’t, but… I’m not reliable. Cuz I don’t think I’m crazy, really, but also, like… You’re stuck in an infinite place, right? But you’re not an infinite kind of a thing, yourself. So that’s gonna mess you up, right? That’s gonna, technically, drive you crazy. But, (and here’s the thing about it, see), if you’re in a place that’s supposed to drive you crazy, like being a non-infinite person in an infinite space, and you go crazy, isn’t that the sane thing to do? Like, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? 

THE INTERVIEWER: Aren’t we always in an infinite space, though? 

THE SUBJECT: Nope. No no no, that’s wrong, I’m sorry but that’s, that’s wrong. 

THE INTERVIEWER: How do you know? It seems pretty infinite out there too, even if it’s just outer space and things like that. It goes on forever. 

THE SUBJECT: It’s got an end point. We might not see it, but it’s got an end point. 

THE INTERVIEWER: How can you be sure? 

THE SUBJECT: ‘Cuz you can be sane out there. And everybody loses it in here. Look at em all. And don’t you get it all screwed up and shit, anybody that can be sane in a place like this is the craziest motherfucker you’ve ever seen and I don’t doubt it for a second. People need walls. They don’t know it but they do. They need boundaries. They need constraints. They get all messed up without ‘em, ya know?
 
THE INTERVIEWER: So what do you think needs to be done about all this? 

THE SUBJECT: I dunno man. It’s just like…it’s just the city. Fuckin’ City Unending, man, fuckin’ City Unending… 

END.